Things we take for granted

People often look at the photo's on here and on facebook and comment on the paradisiacal nature of Seychelles. Whilst it is true there are elements of Seychelles which are paradisiacal, I can tell you one thing for free; Paradise does not exist.

Dr G, Lady P and Vivvy in the water at L'archipel/Anse Gouvernment

In the UK, we take for granted that when we turn on the taps, water will come out. We take for granted that when we turn on a light switch, the room will be illuminated. The taps out here are like a lottery. Except for the occasions or weeks where there has been little or no rain. At these times, you're guaranteed drought!

A wise lady, Mrs H once commented that, "Even if I left my school in London, I won't get rid of challenges altogether, I will simply have new challenges." Another good friend HP (no, not the sauce- but a rather successful Oxford/Harvard graduate) once said, "The grass is never greener on the other side, it's just different". When I told him about how jealous I was that he gets to fly to Spain and Dubai at the drop of a hat, he said "Listen Willy, Microsoft Excel looks exactly the same whether you're sat in Dubai or Baker Street!". He was right on both accounts.

Indeed, the grass is not greener in Seychelles, it is just very different. There are lots of beaches, beautiful walks and amazing people who are polite and always willing to chat. However, there are some nagging issues such as the variety of vegetables on offer. All veg is imported, so in any given week/month, you could be eating the same veg over and over (namely tomatoes, aubergine, green beans and cucumber). That is of course if there's any veg at all in the supermarkets. Water can be a problem when there is no rain and humidity is not your best friend either if you have to wear long trousers at your local restaurant. On the brighter side, just this Thursday a colleague handed me an 8kg bag of starfruit. They were really fresh and juicy (succulent is the word you're looking for dear). Then today, our local fisherman "Big Alex" cooked us dinner-Octopus Curry and Ray Curry. Shame I can't wash the dishes he gave us as there's no water right now!

And yes, whilst it is true that this is one of the most beautiful places in the world, it doesn't mean you don't have to work. I still have planning and marking to do and network issues still need troubleshooting everyday. I no longer need to wait 2 weeks and 20 e-mails later to get fonts installed on our school system, but I do have to go around each machine manually to install them. In a way it's empowering, in another way it can be a little draining.

Emotionally, it's also not easy out here, especially if your loved one is not here or if you're single. It's hard when there are couples around and you see them having fun and sharing intimate moments. Given that this is one of the top honeymoon destinations in the world, we see a lot of couples, too many in fact. You wan't to tell them to "get a room" and then you realise that actually you're in their hotel pool and they are paying anywhere between £200-£6000 a night, so I guess we can't really complain! But it is at times like these when you crave intimacy and your loved ones from back home. Your wife, your girlfirend, boyfriend, mum or dad. Thank goodness for Skype! But Skype cannot cure the emotional rollercoaster that "Ellie L" once described... Out here, you can find yourself really high and hyper or really low with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. Sometimes it gets lonely, other times you wish you could break away. Thankfully, a good night's sleep usually washes away most of the stresses from the day before. We have a relatively good network out here. Our line manager Dr G is always asking how we're doing and Captain M always puts us at ease.

So is this paradise...no, it's just a different place. It has its pro's and it has its con's. I hope to keep sharing these with you.

For now, here's one of the things keeping me happy-Photography:

BBQ fish-Creole style

 Tribute to MJ

Girls vs Boys is a big feature in all games both on the beach and in school.

Chilling at the Coco De Mer Hotel

Life's a game. You have to play to win!

Playing with frames:

The rope series:

 

 "E, Mrs H, Boatwain M and Ellie L" - reflecting on their day off.

More rope:

Coming Correct

Today was a very good day. For those of you who live life literally (I'm not sure there is any other way), 12am is the start of a new day. Being in Seychelles where it's hot and sunny for 12 hours a day and where the sun sets before 7pm, you're guaranteed to have a messed up body clock for the first few weeks. It doesn't help that the Internet is only free between 11pm and 6am.

Our neighbours hosted dinner club yesterdy. Boatswain M somehow managed to cook 10kg of chicken in 30 mins-an impressive feat. The desserts were also delicious! Captain M then kindly informed us that he was hosting the next dinner club, but the theme was "cabaret". I had images of us all having to dress up in fishnets and corsets like we did back at Marley. Thankfully, all we had to do was a 1-minute performance of sorts.

Photographer in residence, Dr Sanghvi already anticipated that I'd do a few multimedia things, but I'd been keen to write some spoken word poetry for some time now. So I got in bed with pen and paper at around 12.30am and penned a few stanzas. When it flows, you can't stop it as Gilbert would say:






But you'll have to wait for a later blog post to hear the final piece. Afterall, how else am I going to keep up my loyal readership figures (now at 6 readers-brap!)

The day got better when two items of post arrived. One was a tool for refilling a toner cartridge, pretty boring post and the supplier also assumed that we don't use UK plugs in Seychelles so they shipped it with an EU plug. Needless to say, they assumed wrong and I'll be leaving neutral feedback on ebay! The second item of post was from my long-time mentor, top 10 inspirational person and professional mother-Mrs H. She packed some rare treats and quite coincidentally, we'd both been thinking of each other as I'd only sent a letter to her 10 days ago.

I will try to recreate the moment of delight when I saw this item in the box of goodies:

Three things to note: 

1) That's Starbucks chai right there.The tastiest drink known to mankind (eventhough my dentist would not approve!).

2) Gosh I look like a minger after bboy class.

3) I've managed to recreate half the amount of joy that I genuinely had when I opened said package.

The package also included Dental floss, insect repellant and sea sickness tablets along with a handwritten note. Now that's what we call "coming correct". In case you're confused with the aforementioned term, the following are examples of not "coming correct":

• Arriving to a party empty-handed
• Tagging a photo of someone when they were clearly slipping/unprepared for the kodak moment
• Going to the toilet just before the bill arrives, knowing that your guest will pick up the bill
• Cancelling on someone who clearly put you in their diary (simply because you got a better offer)
• Being late
• Not doing your ICT homework
• Downloading a film / reading a book and then proceeding to tell everyone the entire storyline
• Re-applying make-up or hairgel in school
• Not washing
• Rudeness to strangers
• Wastefullness 
• Borrowing something and then not returning it. I once let someone borrow a prestigious bboy DVD. He had it for so long it'd integrated into their collection. I had to ask to "borrow" it back. I clearly broke the rule and never returned my own property in the end!
• Following celebrity gossip/fashion trends for more than 1 hour a week
• Taking more than an hour to get ready-an exception can be made for weddings. Actually, just your own wedding.
• Boasting about how much of a don you are. Even if you are Don Corleone himself, you should never let others know about your undisputed greatness. That is unless you're Ronnie O' Sullivan, Bboy Domkey, Lionel Messi, Paul Scholes, Michael Jordan, Nadia Comaneci, JK Rowling, Yayoi Kusama, Suki Chan, Lily Lau, Jesus Christ or Ghandi. Note to self, none of these people actually boast about how good they are eventhough they are some of the best in their fields. The only exception being my mum, but she's allowed to boast simply because she is actually one of the most awesome people on the planet!

To further exemplify the term "coming correct", I refer to my arrival at my humble abode this evening. This is what I found.

 

Dr Sanghvi and his newlywed wife (on the morning of their departure) somehow managed to do the laundry, wash their sheets and hang them outside. I'm pretty sure they also did another spring clean around the house before they left as it's pretty spotless. That's another example of "coming correct". The beautiful couple have been an absolute delight to have around, Mrs Sanghvi has been treating us to traditional Jain cuisine every night, which has been a treat. It also makes a pleasant change from fish with root vegetables! 

In addition to bringing us many items from the SUPPLIES list, Dr Dizzle Bhai also came in and did the school photo's. I couldn't have asked for more from my guests. 

They were considerate, chirpy and helpful (cleaning the house and what not)-on the odd occasion this last attribute provided a little discomfort and embarassment as I felt like a bit of a tramp. But of course I was ultimately grateful! The freelance photographers also left me copies of all their photo's from Seychelles along with a few hundred Gb of films (which they had backed up from their 150 DVD collection back home). Such generosity probably deserves a post of its own.

Having such amazing friends gave me the idea to ask all of my future visitors to do a guest blogpost, rather than signing a guestbook. Guestbooks are a bit lame (unless they're for weddings) and they're generally a waste of paper. Everyone writes pretty much the "same old" and it's usually because they feel obliged to. Hopefully the Sanghvi's will have some interesting insights; such as how to keep ants off your food, what to do in Seychelles on a rainy day, how to get a free ride when you've missed the bus etc etc.

The image above showcases Indian ingenuity. Dr Dizzle Bhai informed us that this homemade contraption can be used to keep sweets, fruit or any food out in the open without ants getting to them. They usually eat right through wrappers and even get into jam jars! The bottom plate is filled with water. The top platform, which should be as large as possible sits on top of a cup or other suitably-stable plinth. Ants will not traverse the water and so they can't climb up to get to the top plate. Voila. That's genius for you right there!

I'll leave you with a few hots from the past few days with the Sanghvi's. 

Local kids showing us how it's done

Me about to get a few hundred newtons of shock on my legs, bum and groin. Showing the locals how it's not done!

 Mrs Sanghvi, diving like a pro.

I'm sure they'll also be updating his blog in the next few weeks. Check back soon: http://www.capturethesoul.co.uk/blog.html

Formula for success

10 years ago in the year 2002 (yes we do Maths here too), Eminem partnered up with Dido to produce this haunting and entertaining record:




He created a formula for success- pick a talented singer (e.g. Dido, Alicia Keys, Skylar Grey) or if you can't find a talented one pick the next best one i.e. Rihanna. Get them to sing a chorus/hook and get a genius rapper (e.g. Nas, Eminem, Dr Dre, Immortal Technique) to pen the rest of the piece and voila. Fast forward to 2012:




This is the song which inspired this whole post, we were playing "name that song" as a starter to a Music Database lesson. I suddenly realised how beautiful/catchy but also formulaic it was.

The same can go with cooking. If cooking fish, just add garlic, samphire, olive oil and black pepper. In the oven 180°/Gas Mark 4, cover with foil and you're done (N.B, put the samphire in for the last 10 mins). If you can't hack samphire, try it with lemon/lime and a bed of root vegetables (Pick 3 from: onion, potatoes, carrots, courgettes, aubergine). If you minus one ingredient from the above, it won't work.

This also applies to dance or any creative physical pursuit e.g. Rhythmic Gymnastics. Guaranteed, if you pick any physical activity which involves creativity, Japan and Korea will have an individual or team in the top 3.






More Mr Miyagi here



First let's deal with Japan, why is it that a population with such deep traditions and conservative approaches to life do you get such creative performers? Well to start with a dancer from Ichigeki once remarked that in Japan, 出る釘は打たれる。 "The nail that sticks up get's hammered down". And perhaps it is this strict level of conformity in society which means that those that make it through all the hammering will be truly extroverted, creative and completely outside the box. In addition to this, an old teacher friend, Scott explained that in Japanese the word Hobby can be translated as: 趣味. However, there is no plural, i.e. there is no word for hobbies. It is not in the culture of many Japanese to have more than one hobby and this culture is partly defined by language. So you pick one hobby and you dedicate all your time to it and become world-class at it. The last sentence pretty much sums up life for Korean men too. Korean conscription means that if you want to be good at a performing art/sport, you have to do it before your 21st birthday (Conscription starts at 18). This is why young dancers and performers go to work 9-5 and then in the evenings (sometimes from midnight to 6am) they practise. Few countries have this same dedicated culture that pervades the entire young male population. Incidentally, any activity that is synchronised/requires structure will always be won by a communist state e.g. Russia/China. That's culture for you.

But is it good? Is all this specialisation and obsessive perfection good for your sanity? I'm not sure. The rewards are massive, but so is the pressure. What are your thoughts?

I've got 99 problems but a beach ain't one

I gave my wife a book for Christmas, 

 
 Image credit: John Self
"Fifty Islands I have not visited and never will"-Excellent tagline.


 Inside the book, the author's intro opens with: 

"Paradise is an island. So is hell"
 
Judith Schalansky is right about the former, and somewhat right about the latter. But it all depends on perspective. A bit of background on my persepctive: I'm a realist that eers strongly towards optimism. But not some of that flaky "everything is going to be alright" brand of optimism. A student once famously put it "I hate the phrase, 'you'll be fine'. It's so overused, it lacks meaning." 

I was once a complete optimist (after completing a summer with The SouthWestern company selling books door to door in America), but you soon learn that even as an eternal optimist, the poop occasionally hits the proverbial fan and no matter what it's going to be messy and no amount of optimism can clean you up. You need pragmatic solutions. On the other hand, to be a pessimist is draining. Don't hang out with pessimists, they'll get you down. FACT!

Back to the book, a common theme throughout the book is the sense of loneliness and how this can lead to insanity. Luckily, I have some great colleagues out here. We play Aussie rules on the beach together, eventhough we don't know the rules. I bought a ball whilst out on Hockey tour in Aus in 2003 and it provides fond memories. Shoutout to Wakefield massive.

 

However, as much fun as beaches and bikes can provide, nothing can replace old friends from back home. Luckily The Dizzle Aka Dr. Sanghvi is coming out to visit on Saturday (talk about short notice), so it will be good to reminisce over old times at Marly. He's one of my top 3 photographers in the world too, so watch out for a Photo special from Dr Dizzle coming soon!

My wife recently asked me if I could see myself staying out here for the two years as indicated on my contract. I told her I could see myself staying here for life. Considering I also said I would stay at my old school until my year 7's went to uni and I cut that short by a year, I might be out in Seychelles for quite some time! Mrs Lau sounded a bit shocked at my declaration over Skype. She went on to ask, smiling "Is there anything you miss in London".

I replied, "Not really, just products but I think I can live without them".

Insanity gets to you, I should have replied "The only thing I miss is you".

Instead I went on to tell her about the small things I miss that you can't find anywhere out here. For example, Dental floss, grapes, berries, decent washing up liquid, soya beans, a decent bike, organic tomatoes. Actually, I lie about the tomatoes, all fruit/veg out here is organic, so there's no sweat about that. But yeah, if there's one thing I could change over the past week or two, it would be to tell her that she was the only thing I missed.

So as far as beaches go, that's no problem. Here's the beach we visited on Saturday:

 

 When you walk out to the island, this is what is there:

But for now, I long for this picture to be painted again.



Au Rev.

Mr Lau

P.S. Some of you were expecting some Jay-Z gangster ish from this blogpost. But sometimes you just need to write about your emotions to get them out there.