Monday, 3 September 2012

Samedi Soir Sur La Terre

When Flo first started his blog, it was pretty awesome, but when he made it interactive, it was even better. So as a tribute to Flo and my former French language assistant Ludo Surina, here's something to listen to as I recount what went down on Saturday:


Press play then scroll down.


Ludo used to play us French music like Francis Cabrel and Calogero. We would then go through and translate the lyrics into English. It helped a great deal and if it wasn't for Ludo and Mike Rylance, I don't think I'd be doing so great with my French and Kreol in Seychelles right now.

In the morning, I finished shooting the video for my mum's 50th. Don't worry, you'll all get to see it at some point. Boaty M is expecting some kind of Hollywood blockbuster, but it's mainly me just talking.

En-route to the beach, I saw this Billabong boat, it is owned by the same guy who owns the Yacht in the background. This makes me think that maybe the Billabong boat is a toy for the kids. Eitherway Graff is alive and kicking in Seychelles.


Here's the local beach, Castello beach. 5 mins 30 seconds from the house. Don't go too far past the Billabong boat though, as the guy who owns it also owns two rabid dogs. Now where's that poison at? Just kidding!

There are two football teams on Praslin, the Lightstars and Côte d'Or. The latter were once bottom of the league, but they've been recently rescued by an Abramovitch-esque investor who has poured in SR 1 000,000 into the team. That's £48,240 which is completely unheard of in Seychellois football.

As you've guessed, the team colour is bright orange a bit like the Dutch. Good job I packed my vintage Johan Cruyff shirt. For those that don't know, Johann Cruyff is one of my heroes, partly because he was the Zinedine Zidane of his day, unbelievably skillful and like ZiZi, he was a bit of a rebel. He refused to wear the number 9 shirt asigned to him and wore 14 instead eventhough he was in the starting 11 and captain! He also refused to wear the Dutch national shirt with 3 adidas stripes, as he had a sponsorship deal with Puma. For the 1974 world cup, he had a stripe unstitched so that it only had 2 stripes. What a don:


Back to Côte d'Or. I'd love to say that they played a form of "Total Football" that Johan would be proud of, but unfortunately the £1 ticket was only justified by the banter and animosity from the stands. The chants and vuvuzuela's added atmos to the sole stand in the stadium. Vijay stadium of course-the legend builds everything.

Pick-up trucks like these drive to the game with 20 or 30 passengers in the back, picking up supporters on their way along the road. Eventhough the team drew 0-0 with St Michel from Mahé, the crowd were still fairly celebratory, acting asthough it was a 2-0 win or something. We drove back in their convoy towards Côte d'Or honking our horn with the locals, I think they just love the social aspect of it all. As one of our colleagues P said, "You have to celebrate life, you don't know when it's going to be over". After today's drive home, I know exactly what she means.

It reminded me a bit of Indian cricket, with lost of supporters on the other side of the fence. Some are on this side as the 25 rupees isn't that great an investment, considering 23 would buy you a Seybrew and 40 would buy you a bag of Ti Shot. More on Ti Shot later! You can't drink in the stands, the only food and beverages sold are water, popcorn, ice cream, banana chips and mini-pizzas. It's good to know that Stadium food is unhealthy across the globe.

Côte d'Or-Mobile below. A gang of orange-bandana wearing bretheran got out from this classy ride, they're the equivalent of the local firm.

That's all for today, I'm still back-dating my blog, but today was our first day at school. A good friend, "A" once said to me that she knew from the first day that she stepped foot in a certain school, that she didn't want to stay there. I would say the same, only the opposite; from Day One alone I can't imagine leaving this place.


Sunday, 2 September 2012

Supplies

Seychelles isn't all sea, sand surf and speedo's. It can get pretty frustrating and tiring too. I misuse the word frustrating as I've learned to become pretty chilled out. But as Boaty M (my neighbour) says on his blog:

"On the other side the madness of this place has also been much more than expected. We were told to expect 1960s Britain and having not been born in 1960 we did not know what really that meant. Well it turns out it means tiny supermarkets, mad bureaucracy, 20p bus journeys for an hour's ride, mad switchback roads everywhere, insane heat, insane rain, 2 hours of water per day, trees falling through power lines, massive spiders, tiny plane journeys in tin boxes and large quantities of home brewed rum!!!"

I forgot about the powercut until now-a new challenge every day!

The great thing that I've noticed so far is the drinking water, when we're not in drought, the tap water is great. I use a Brita filter but have been fine without and there's no limescale on anything, which saves us scrubbing! Air pollution is pretty minimal too, however litter is on the rise. On an island where joblessness is considered unacceptable, the former mayor created jobs for the unemployable to collect litter. But it turns out that on average these collectors took 2 days off a week and were mainly on the chillax tip. The photo below kind of shows the sorry state that Praslin could find itself in if we don't all sharpen up our act and use the bins, eventhough there's not that many around!


In a bid to learn Kreol, I've started to read more and more where possible; listening is just too difficult. Most of the words are blended together and the way locals speak is very musical, almost like a song.

I can translate the above sign into french as: "Il est contre la loi pour fumer dans la salle"... and then I'm lost.

On Friday, we all went off to the main island of Mahe to sort out our ID cards, I'm now the proud owner of 3 identities, UK, Hong Kong and Seychelles. Whilst over there we checked out the local market in Victoria. Victoria is very different to any villages on Mahe, for one it's the size of a tiny town and it's apparently the smallest capital city in the world. The kind of supplies available really vary from Parquet tiles to fish, fruit and veg. A much wider variety than Praslin is on offer and being the main island, it's actually cheaper as all shipping comes directly there and doesn't need re-distributing by boat to Praslin or any other island. It's funny how the exact opposite is true of London, imagine if things were cheaper in London than the rest of the country. Obviously rent and logistics in London Town is different to Seychelles, so I'll stop there on that thought!







These palm spiders are huge, about the size of, well a large palm. One doesn't need to be told the scale of these structural supports to realise that these buggers are pretty huge and scary. Apparently harmless though.

Dr G and Lady P checking out the palm spiders.

From doing a lot of research, I found out that Chinese and Indian migrants have been coming to Seychelles for generations. They previously came here as fisherman and plantation workers. Most shop keepers are now Indian, so I've been keeping up with my "Namaste" and "Sukriya" but that's as far as my Hindi stretches. Everyone speaks English and Kreol anyway.

The Chinese population is very small and were originally from Mainland China, not Hong Kong. The most likely place you're going to find Chinese people is behind the counter at Kim Koon's. The chain is huge on Mahe with several electronics shops, a scooter/car company and all sorts of other convenience stores. There's also Sham Peng Tong, another large Chinese conglomerate. By large, I mean they have several stores selling different things. There's no actual conglomerates like Arcadia out here!

What fascinates me here is that the main market building has huge influences from the East, it looks like a pagoda from China Town, yet no Chinese market stall owners were in there, not that I saw anyway.

The Victoria Clock tower is a national monument, it's a miniature replica of one on Vauxhall Bridge Road, which in itself is a mini replica of Big Ben. What do you call a replica of a replica?
Yes, they painted it silver. Chrome & Black would be proud.

I've been making a video for my mum's 50th, which is on the 18th September, more video's will also follow but for now, anytime I see something which reminds me of people and home, I'll post it. The picture below is dedicated to the great Professor ZB. Zoran is a legend, you will hear more about him in due time. For now, just know that he can name every country in the world based on a country's borders/outline on a blank atlas/globe. He's not even a Geography teacher either. He teaches History but he's also a great rapper and one of the finest educational practitioners I've ever come across. To put it bluntly, he's in my Top 10 living inspirations.

Top 10 living inspirations in no particular order:

1) Suki Chan
2) My Mum and Dad
3) Zoran Bracanov
4) Elizabeth Hidson
5) Ken Robinson
6) Seth Godin
7) Bboy Cloud / Abstrakt and the whole of Skillmethodz Crew
8) Jez Franklin and the rest of Born To Rock crew
9) Werner Herzog
10) A whole host of Marylebone teachers and people in my Twitter PLN which don't need naming!


Having endured the 1 hour catamaran ride back, with only half the crew vomitting (note to self, always fly between Praslin and Mahe as advised by E, it's practically the same price anyhow!), we awaited our shipping arrival. We've been living out of our suitcases for six days now, I've been handwashing clothes and even had to go commando on more than one occasion as you can only handwash when clothes when there's running water! It's been a pleasant challenge to say the least, thankfully Captain M made a few phone calls and being a Captain, people responded pretty swiftly to get our shipping over from Mahe.

Unloading from the Belle Pralinois took approximately 4 hours, our shipping was last, and as the crane operator skillfully pulled out broken palettes of kitchen and floor tiles, I was less than confident that our baggage was undamaged. Pictured below is Boaty M and Joycey Joyce helping unload and Ellie L posing for the photo opp.


As predicted, something did leak, a bottle of plant feed. It slightly damaged the corner of a couple of Miss Chan's Fujitrans tests which was heartbreaking. Literally, they were the one thing that I was looking forward to putting up in the house and classroom. Upon reflection, it's not too bad, and if the Fujitrans are stuck up with white tape, it will cover up the light staining.

http://www.sukichan.co.uk/assets/sleepwalk.0009.jpg

Unpacking was pretty exciting. This is what a year's worth of supplies looks like. I hope this will last a year, although I will have to be rationing myself a bit!

The word "SUPPLIES" on its own brings great joy to 3 of the readers of this blog post. It could be considered mildly racist, but being Chinese myself, I can say it with great pleasure: SURPRISE!



End of Day 5. School starts tomorrow. Wish me luck!

La Digue - Paradise Found

Favourite place in the world, home (Doncaster or Angel-a tough choice). Second favourite place in the world, it has to be La Digue.

Public health warning, you are about to see some pretty obscene images below. If you're easily offended, don't scroll down. Close the window and pretend you never landed here.

La Digue is a 15 minute Catamaran ride from Praslin, lucky for us, as the alternative is an hour and a half from Mahe. Within the first 4 minutes it became obvious why our predeccessors had advised us a) to pack sea sickness tablets and b) to fly between islands where possible. Think of a fair ground ride, you lose your stomach every now and again but you do that for fun and you know it only lasts 5 minutes. It's predictable when your stomach will go as there's a rhythm and you can see stuff. On a Catamaran riding the seas, you get all the thrills but no pleasure whatsoever. Thankfully nobody vomitted, the same cannot be said about our 1 hour ride to Mahe the following weekend. It is also advisable to sit on the side where there is no splash guard, because the splash guard is there for a reason, it's the wet side of the boat. Primary source evidence below:


Gregoires is the big supermarket on La Digue, they have a wide range of stock and as is the case with all good supermarkets, Gregoires plays banging music. They also conform with Saselwa logic when it comes to energy efficiency. The freezer tops are white, not glass, so how do shoppers know what's in the freezer? Easy, they keep the freezer doors wide open. No Joke. It's like air con.

My favourite snack at the moment has got to be banana chips, don't eat normal crisps as they generally taste of soap! When payday comes, i'll be buying some of these biscuits. What a great name, a blend of English and Kreol for a Scottish product!


Captain M warned me that there was little contemporary art, especially of Miss Chan's main medium-moving image. However this really captured my eye. Living here for 7 days makes you realise that you don't really need or indeed want any material belongings. They cost a lot and you're only going to have to pay again to ship them home. If however, I did become a permanent resident of Seychelles, I'd probably buy this. Check out the Oxford geometry set, everyone had one of those. The door handle, flip flops, scissors. Ah this is beautiful:

Seychelles is mainly visited by Europeans and South Africans. There are few Americans or Brits and the European tourists are mainly Italian, French or German. Said Europeans like to rock speedo's, which is fine if you're ripped and moderately to well-endowed like the guy below, but if you're at pension age or if you've got the physique of a Telly Tubby, it might not be a good idea. They don't care though, if you're here as a tourist, you're probably a millionaire. Millionaires don't care too much about these things. Shout out to "Westbere Jill" (9 milli).

Captain M's partner, "Aunty" is not a big fan of Seychellois touristy arts and crafts as they're generally cliché. Some of the tat in the tourist shops is literally made in Asia and then the word "Seychelles" is just written on top. That reminds me of blackpool! On an amusing note, maybe Seychelles should sell rock. Eventhough this is borderline tourist tat, I still love it:
I'm not sure how long it would last and how much of a joker you would look wearing one, but you have to admit, it's very skillfully made. Hats off to the craftsman. Good pun there for Mr Flo.


Some couples even get married out here, I'm sure you've got to own a FTSE 100 company to be able to afford this, but on the plus side, they leave behind the most beautiful decorations.

As Werner Herzog says, "A good sun hat is essential". Everyone in our group apart from Dr G has got a pretty decent tan. Don't worry Dr G, it will come eventually. I've tried not to get too brown as my wife always says I look like a "mucky ducky" even when I'm in London; getting a deep equitorial tan would only add fuel to the fire, I'd never hear the end of it.

My sister, Ellie L inspired me to get more serious with the photography side of things, every corner you turn, you're blown away so you just go into happy snappy mode. Niraj also updated his blog for his Photographic company "Capture the Soul" and I was completely inspired by his images from Kenya. I simply had to sort my game out. So you've probably noticed I'm taking a bit more care with the composition these days. The things I do for my loyal fanbase which consists of 4 readers!


This reminds me of School of Saatchi, but the tropical version!

At this point, it's apt to give a shoutout to Carl Stratton, he gets his name in full because he's a pretty spectacular graphic designer / illustrator / webmaster , he made the t-shirt I'm wearing below. He also makes a mean chilli con carne, chilli butter and all. He keeps the butter in the freezer, but I digress and I don't want to be giving out his top secret recipe.


This is Anse Source D'argent it's pretty stunning, but don't get too jealous, the shores are shallow and the sea bed is dead coral, which makes it difficult to swim in. I also cut my foot open on this, so when you come, bring beach shoes.



I was going to Photoshop Miss Chan in the picture below, but clearly I'm a bit too much of a wideboy. I never thought a place could rival our wedding location, but this is it! THIS IS IT! Second honeymoon is definitely on the cards when Miss Chan gets out here.

Shooting with a fully automatic compact camera is pretty tricky. "Intelligent Auto" is about as intelligent as a can opener. 95% of the time, the photo isn't that great, but this one worked out pretty well.

E took us out to see a pirate ship, it's pretty spectacular, but like most pirate ships, this one is shipwrecked.


M is my neighbour. He's a different person to Captain M, who is our boss. From now on M shall be known as "Boatswain M". Don't complain, the other title would have been "Powder Monkey". I reserve that for myself. Anyhow, off on a tangeant again, Boaty M has these captivating sunglasses. He probably thinks I'm weird because I'm always shooting close-ups of his face. This shot paid off. Nike couldn't have done better themselves. Well they probably could have, they would have their logo in focus for a start!

A lot of Saselwa own dogs, they don't take them for walks and I haven't seen any vicious ones yet. Apparently if you have a noisy dog, your neighbour will just kill it. Seriously, Captain M recounted how someone fed their neighbours' dog a piece of meat which had poision in it. Moral of the story, don't own an annoying dog. Below is an example of a exemplary dog. It didn't bark and didn't pester us, it just posed for photos.

If you've done your homework, you will know that the only way to get around La Digue is either by Ox Cart or bike. There are roughly 20 motorised vehicles on the entire island-mainly pickup trucks used for trade. It is also hilly in places, so whilst trying to emulate Bradley Wiggins it might be an idea to stop once in a while and look around. This church is beautiful, the blues were the same hue as the sea.

As teachers, we love seeing students learn new things. Viv (wearing Maillot Jaune) had never ridden a bike before, but like all heroes, she conquered her fears and took to the road on a tricycle. It weighed a metric tonne-I know this because we had to push it together up the main hill, but the smile on her face as she cycled on paradise was more than worth it!

Mr Flo, you'll see your backpack is getting some good use and Eastpak is getting some good exposure.

The following photo's are taken from Le Domaine de L'Orangeraie Hotel. Apparently the best hotel on La Digue.

More Speedo's, just for the ladies.



This reminds me of you.

I think I've done a good job promoting the hotel, any chance of a free lunch now please?

Chilling, with a lot of sand in my hair.

Leaving La Digue, we see our founder's construction boat. He has 4. Shoutout to VJ.

I ♥ Lamp Digue